Bringing Your Power back

Let me begin by quoting the following two paragraphs from a book called:

You can heal your Life” by Louise Hay.

“Blame is one of the surest ways to stay in a problem. In blaming another, we give away our power. Understanding enables us to rise above the issue and take control of our future.The past cannot be changed. The future is shaped by our current thinking. It is imperative for our freedom to understand that our parents were doing the best they could with the understanding, awareness, and knowledge they had. Whenever we blame someone else, we are not taking responsibility for ourselves.  

Those people who did all those terrible things to us were just as frightened and scared as you are. They felt just the same helplessness as you do. The only things they could possibly teach you are what they had been taught. How much do you know about your parents’ childhoods, especially before the age of ten? If it’s still possible for you to find out, ask them. If you’re able to find out about your parents’ childhoods, you will more easily understand why they did what they did. Understanding will bring you compassion. If you don’t know and can’t find out, try to imagine what it must have been like for them. What kind of childhood would create an adult like that”? You need this knowledge for your own freedom. You can’t free yourself until you free them. You can’t forgive yourself until you forgive them. If you demand perfection from them, you will demand perfection from yourself, and you will be miserable all your life”.

Your Future is Shaped by Your Current Thinking

If you believe that “understanding will bring you compassion”, then no matter how bad your pain was or how bad it gets, You are going to make it work. It can help you focus on finding new ways of dealing with people who hurt you in the past and with the ones who are still hurting you, even if they are unaware of the suffering that they are causing you right now. I know that from my own life experience it is not easy to stop blaming others, especially when you have been badly hurt. But we must keep trying. You can start practising it now. I know it can take time, depending on how serious the problem is. You need to be very self-aware. I believe that being aware of who you really are and what you really want, is one of the best and strongest tools we have in our amazing and rewarding journey of self-development.

Experience has taught me that Growth cannot exist unless you increase your ability to be aware of yourself and your surroundings. Only by being aware can you stop blaming yourself and others. In my opinion Awareness is the key to becoming more compassionate towards yourself, your parents and in fact towards anybody who hurt you in the past, present and, who knows, in the future.

The Power is Within You

First of all, you must be prepared to accept your own imperfections and the imperfections of others. Experience shows that you are more likely to achieve your goal when you are prepared and have taken the first step. But just as awareness is very important to your development , so is having a clear vision of what you want to achieve. This will increase your determination to succeed. If you are not clear then nothing can change in your relationship with yourself and others. Remember, your mind needs to go through the various steps to completion. That’s what we call planning.

Take Some Time To Learn More About Yourself Without Any Sort of Judgment

Understanding how and where you use your energy is extremely helpful in this process. You will discover that you are someone who has a lot of energy, but you haven’t been using it because you didn’t know you had it. Now that you are aware of your inner strength You are emotionally prepared to find answers to your problems rather than just worrying about them. You will be able to navigate your way through your life, because it will be filled with meaning. You will be able to better discern your needs. Learning more about your own emotions can be fun and empowering. It gives you the practical and creative tools to get to know and explore who you really are and what you really need. My experience has taught me that learning more about the background of my parents, friends and others helped me understand myself and others better. As a result, I boosted my self-confidence, which led me to getting my inner strength back.

Therefore It won’t just be you who benefits from this experience. Others will feel happier in your company, you will have your confidence restored and your life will be more interesting and fulfilled. It’s not as complicated as you think!

I am sharing with you what I normally do when my old self comes back to haunt me. I literally put myself into the shoes of the person who is hurting me, and then do all that I can to try to understand why they are doing that. Once I am in their shoes I feel their insecurity, low self-esteem and lack of confidence. Only after I start to feel their pain do I understand that even though it looks like they really meant to hurt me, what drove them really had nothing to do with me, but with their own insecurities and lack of forgiveness for their parents, themselves, and others.

Sympathy and Compassion Bring You Power

Then I feel motivated to detach myself from the situation and my sympathy and compassion for them increases. A huge weight is lifted from my shoulders and I am ready to forgive anyone who hurt me, because I know how damaging the negative impact of blaming someone else can have to my overall wellbeing.

You may be thinking: what does not blaming others have to do with me regaining my power? You are not alone, lots of people struggle with that concept at the beginning. Just be patient with yourself and you will soon understand what that means. I used to struggle to understand the importance of not blaming myself and others. It’s a relatively new concept, although this information has been available in the Bible for more than two thousand years: When they kept on questioning Jesus, he straightened up and said to them, ‘Let anyone among you who is without sin be the first to throw a stone at her.’ Jesus was the only sinless person in the temple scene, and, instead of condemning the woman, Jesus looked ahead and visualised what that women could be if they gave her a new life opportunity. She would be able to learn from her own mistakes. And I am quite sure she embraced that opportunity with deep gratitude and she felt encouraged to change her life style and became the best version of herself.

From this passage we learned that we must not judge others because none of us are perfect. When I feel tempted to blame myself or others, I found that reading Mathew 7:1-4 helps me immensely, and I sincerely hope it can help you too. Mathew 7:1-4states: ” Stop judging that you may not be judged, for with the judgement you are judging, you will be judged, and with the measure that you are measuring out, they will measure out to you. Why, then, do you look at the straw in your brother’s eye but do not notice the rafter in your own eye? Or how can you say to your brother allow me to remove the straw from your eye when look! a rafter is in your eye? First remove the rafter from your own eye, and then you will see clearly how to remove the straw from your brothers’s eye”. So, Let’s keep doing all that we can, despite of our imperfections to stop judging ourselves or others, because none of us are perfect.

Likewise, we must use every single opportunity that life is giving us to forgive ourselves and others, so we can reach out with compassion, sympathy and do our best to treat everybody as we would like to be treated. keeping in mind that we, too, are sinners in need of each other’s forgiveness.

The process of bringing back your inner power and embracing life with confidence, self-respect, and dignity, can be a bit overwhelming, but it doesn’t have to be that way.

2 thoughts on “Bringing Your Power back”

  1. Great, advice and food for thought on how and why to forgive others and ourselves too. We all fall short, but are doing the best that we can at the time. I like the references from the Bible, life’s timeless instruction book.

    1. Hi Linda,
      Thank you very much for your kind comment 🙏🏽🌻
      I am very glad that you found it useful 🥳
      And ye, I totally agree with you: the Bible really is a timeless book, and we all have a lot to learn from it
      To our Better-Selves
      Isabel

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